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Where am I?

As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he said, ‘Why are all the blinds drawn?’
The doctor replied, ‘There’s a big fire across the street, and we didn’t want you to think that the operation was a failure.’
           
A doctor and a lawyer [...]

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Who says you can’t take it with you?

An old man was on his death bed. He was determined to take all his money with him.
He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside.
‘Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all [...]

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Please … your Honour

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
‘Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, ‘that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?’
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t heard the question.
‘Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?’ the lawyer repeated.
The [...]

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Two lawyers and Yogi Bear

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of running shoes and proceeded to put them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, ‘You’re crazy! You’ll never be able to outrun that bear!’
‘I don’t have to,’ the first lawyer calmly replied. [...]

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Two lawyer jokes

‘You’re a high-priced lawyer. If I give you $500, will you answer two questions for me?’
‘Absolutely! What’s the second question?’
     
A surgeon, an architect and a lawyer are having a heated discussion concerning which of their professions is the oldest profession.
The surgeon says, ‘Surgery is the oldest profession. [...]