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Quick Jokes #1

This entry is part 1 of 10 in the series Quick JokesIf your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course … at least it will shut up once you let it in.

A guy goes up [...]

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Look out below

A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor, and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He points to his eye meaning ‘I’, points to his knee meaning ‘need’, then [...]

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High technology

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers—like a telephone—on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him that this is a very tough neighbourhood, and he doesn’t need any trouble here.
The guy says, ‘You don’t understand. I’m very hi-tech. I had a phone [...]

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Every dog has his day

A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them.
‘Ah, you’re lovely, aren’t you,’ she says to the first dog. ‘What’s your name then?’
To her surprise, the dog [...]

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Ho Ho Ho

One Christmas eve, Santa Clause comes down the chimney and is startled when confronted by a beautiful 19 year old blonde.
‘Santa, will you stay with me?’
Santa replied, ‘Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys.’
So she took off her night gown. Wearing only a bra and panties, [...]